Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Ok Heres the scoop
We will start with this, Ok I have Done EXTREMLY bad with eating and exercise and everything in general, I am so assamed of myself, I planned to get new years started on the right track but have filed miserably, I guess its been a mixture of the partys, holidays, stress and just everything!! I weigh myself daily and to be honest, my weight is down from my last Dr visit HOWEVER, its stayed the same now for two weeks, so i guess you can say I am JUST maintaining and thats not where I am in this journey, I want to continue LOSING until my goal is met! Starting today I am planning to make some eating changes, I have GOT to log my food and water intake and I am checking into a treadmill & excercise bike, It is just something I NEED badly because of the lack of exercise I get. New Years was just that..BAD I Drank, ate cheeseballs, summer sauage and you name it, if it was BAD I decided to splurge!!!! Well, even after that I went to a BUFFET my first time since my diet and ended up sick! Miserable sick...I have cried and been so upset over this, people just don't see that I am killing myself inside. I am putting myself down and feel unloved and unrespected and you name it I feel it, I have thought about logging on and just pouring my heart out on my blog BUT I can't or I won't! I am abusing mybody by taking laxitives because I get so upset that I ate what I did..It has to stop and I know I have the self control to do it, it is just getting off my ass and doing it! I deserve it and I am going to get what I want out of life. To be healthy is what I want, to get older knowinging that I done everything I could to stay healthy & happy so that I can say that after 30 I had a wonderful life...AFTER 30 lol ...As you can see this has been very hard for me, with no support and so much stress, it takes a toll on you and its hard to maintain a normal life and eat healthy and all that. I miss logging my food and eating healthy, I find myself slipping back into a BAD routine and the only person that gives a damn is me... I will get it togather TODAY...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hi there. Hope I'm not being too forward here, I'm Boss. I just happened to come across your blog surfing :-).
I wanted to say I felt what you wrote in this post. I really and genuinely admire your courage to write such hard personal things, and I felt it not from a personal standpoint, but because I've seen this written before, and I reognise the situation you're in.
People who have goals, and no one seems to notice or understand, or seems to appreciate the difficulty you as the individual goes through, in a situation like yours.
I suppose nobody truly knows what another person goes through in life, as they are not them, even if they share similar pasts.
I wouldn't dream of giving you a tonne of pity, as that's not my right, and I believe you as an individual, are worth more than some stranger coming here and pitying you, or talking to you like you're damaged goods, as I honestly don't think that for a moment.
I realise your situation is very hard, and I won't pretend to know what it's like, but right now, I do truly believe you are worth so, so much, not just to yourself, but others and this world.
You have a right to achieve, succeed, feel like a complete woman, and have a confident mastery of your own life.
You have a right to do this, and feel special in your own way, and I can see you're not a person that is second best, you're someone who must clearly have a lot of human value, and maybe others around you don't see it, but it's clear you're not someone who is bad or gone off the rails, you're just someone who in my eyes is trying hard, and wants to be respected for it, and have it understood.
I've seen people like you tell this kind of tale before, and it makes me feel a lttle unhappy that many others can't see the person I think you are inside, and the person I believe you can become physically, emotionally and mentally.
I think there's so much more to you too, and I think you really and truly should be very, very proud of wanting to make this change now, and it doesn't matter about not trying before, or what happened over Chrsitmas, you're still young, and that Christmas blip is nothing at all, I can tell you that many have been there, and many have overcome a few festive lbs, and I believe you CAN overome too :-).
I am writing this not just to say hay there's another person out there, that sees you for what you are and can be, when many don't, but because your recent comment, touched a nerve with me, and I see someone who is deserving of so much, but yet gets less than she should, and none of that is your fault, it truly isn't, it's other people not seeing someone like you, for the person you are and deserve to be.
The fact you are trying to love yourself so much, is to me, a wonderful thing, which as I said you should be so proud of.
It shows what sort of Heart you have, to love and care for yourself this much, and that you must be a pretty strong character, (even if you don't see it), to keep on, and not fold, when you have very few people who care what you're doing.
You get a lot of plaudits for that from me, I think your determination in adversity so to speak is inspiring, and I admire your continuing efforts a lot.
I think you have quite a way to go, but I think you also have the right mental, emotional and physical qualities, to spread your wings and fly, and I really want to tell you, I hope you get everything in life you are looking for right now.
I don't know if this will help or not, but I have a messageboard I run to help, support and advise people with differing physical goals.
I would be delighted to have you come and check it out some time.
You will always be welcome, and there's some good knowledgeable people, quite a few ladies there too, who I'm sure will help you to feel at home :-).
My site is called Steelmuscle, and you can find it on my blog.
If you want to stop by the messageboard anytime, please do, and if not, sincerely no worries at all, but I'll finish by saying, don't ever stop loving yourself like you're doing, (I think overall you're doing superbly), and never stop believing in yourself, or fear yourself.
You have nothing to lose and plenty to gain, and I certainly think you as a person are worth the time, effort, and love you put into yourself, so keep going, be strong, chin up, GOOD LUCK, and very, very best wishes to you.
With much respect.
Boss
Hey, girl. You have lost a tremendous amount of weight since starting this blog. And you should be VERY proud of that. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful, valuable, lovely person... no matter your size... and you totally deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to lose weight... in a healthy manner. I care about you... and I'm just going to type it... please, please, please do not take the laxatives anymore. Don't feel pressured to lose weight too quickly. Take it one day at a time... and just do the best that you can each day. Make sure you're eating enough and getting the proper nutrition.
I hope that didn't sound "preachy." I just care about you, girl! :)
Stop weighing yourself so much !!!! Your weight is going to fluctuate up and down every single day. Try doing it once a week. its ok to eat during the holidays i think. we all need a break and need to enjoy ourselves:). Your weight is still down from what it was so chill, take it easy, don't stress. Your going to do it :)
Post a Comment