Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Soo seems HE is on a mission again to make me fail, to make me miserable...it just won't happen...I will do everything in my power to show him, I CAN do what I set out to do..as much as I love him...I love myself even more. I mentioned it to him and he acted like an ass but whatever, I done it one my own without his support last time...as a matter of fact I have done everything in this marriage myself without his support soooo I think I can manage. He has had such a attitude lately and an attitude like I OWE him something, even said something to me that stood out...he said something along the lines that he wanted a woman with good credit, I was like well you found the wrong one with me and he said ohh no I didnt you pay the bills don't you! What tha heck. I was in shock and he played it off like he was joking but he wasn't I am not that dumb BUT KARMA is NO fun and I am just waiting until one day when it hits him that I am OVER it...he doesnt have anyone now to baby him. His mom passed and his grandmother did too...I think he thinks I am his "safe" place BUT...I am TIRED of being his support system...at some point in my life I plan to have a life..I have wanted a family...NOT a ONE SIDED DRAMA filled bunch of bull shit!
As you can see...I am a bit pissy tonight....better get to bed for work...something he dont do!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Took a Long look and.....

OK Soo I am about 240 Pounds..Finally took a LONG look in the mirror and I just dont wanna be this way much longer!!! I can NOT deal with it SOOOO I have made an appointment to once again get the weight off! Can I do it?? who knows, maybe I will do it just to prove people wrong!!! ha ha Thats how I roll LOL!
Things have been hard lately so hard that I haven't taken the time to find myself..I think I have once again lost "Me" If you look back at my post in 2007 you would see I NEED this! I KNow I can do it, its a matter of do I want to look like this forever NO HELL NO I dont and if it takes medication to help me through...well thats what I plan to do! I look MISERABLE I am tired of being PLUS size... NO Cloths...No life just FAT! I am over it and I refuse to stay like this so I VOW from THIS day 6/28 to LOSE the weight again... I am not telling other people...I want to do this for MEEEE I am TIRED of the Fatness..Food is NOT that important to me yet I eat it like its going out of style! So I am on a mission, we will see how far I get ha ha

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Life & Murder?

If you could see inside my heart...You would see right now its broken...Its been a while since I wrote and for a good reason... wel lets say several good reasons but I will touch on the main ones...My Mother in law, whom ment so very much to me passed away, 6 weeks later on May 7th My husbands Grandmother was Murdered in her home. I have went through a series of emotions...so its been tough to put in words. I went from being scared out of my mind to crying my eyes out. While in court I stared them down and when I left..I just cried that they should no emotion, how could you hit her, shot her and cut her throat and show NO emotion at all!! HOW? I am ANGRY, I am HURT and I am still in shock that something like this could happen...Not only has this taken place but everything else has came about Its a long story and I just cant talk anout it now...