Thursday, March 11, 2010

What got into me???

Ok soo WOW, I went to get a meal, Sat downd stuffed my face with Cooked cabbage, Mac & Cheese, Broc Cassrole, Creamed corn, corn bread and YES Pineapple walnut salad! WOW THEN, I got back to the office...Had not even thought of losing weight, was at the office 10 minutes at the most...jumped in my car and went down to a weight loss clinic...without even thinking twice about it went in! soooo now what? Do I start another diet? Do I continue on FAT and try to pretend I am happy? WHAT should I do??? I think I may give it some thought and well, maybe...JUST Maybe I will loose some weight again...hummm would be nice to get into some of my old cloths that I never even got to wear!

Seems I pick jobs like I pick men!

Hospital visit, working two jobs, very lil soooo tired and sleepy that I could barly hold my head up this morning. Its been a crazy morning, slept until about 10 minutes before times to leave. I am SURE that I need a day off...The hospital visits are Scary! She has tubes everywhere and it make me realize anything can happen at anytime. I can't understand why my husband seems so distant toward her, when he goes to the hospital, its like he has No emotion yet thats his mother on life support, it not only concerns me BUT scares me...What if that were me? would he be emotionless? would he stay at home worring about himself instead of at the hospital? I guess people deal with things differently but, the very thought of getting sick scares me if I am married to him...
Work has been interesting lately, a never ending battle to gain a lil respect! I doubt it will ever happen with the boss that I have now. I do my best YET, thats not good enough...seems to be the story of my life. Seems I pick my jobs like my men! Its crazy! Havent started the meds yet, just way to much going on to deal with a new medication but will soon. Ok soo guess I will get busy with my not so great job!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Wow, its been a while

Sure has been a while since I have wrote on this journal, journaling has always helped me, I can not believe that I was this into living a healthy life, yet I gave it up and now I am back at 220! its nuts.. So much has happened and so much going on that its hard t think about all the wight I have gained. I guess food addiction is harder to treat then I thought. Between working two jobs in management, My home life ( which has changed drastically since I last posted ) My animals & a Mother in law on life support I can barely think much less watch calories & work out. I stay so tired and at times just wanna close my eyes and pretend I am someone else. I have however decided to accept that I have a metal illness and have the medications that I need to maintain a normal life. Guess I will write later I am at work and don't wanna get into trouble...