My Weekend

My weekend went GREAT and believe it or not I am amazed and so proud of myself. I spent Saturday at the Book store, Grocery shopping & just running errands. Then today I went to the library and then to work out..I done my weights..then walked on the tread mill for a FULL hour. I felt GREAT so I check my weight and to my surprise I had lost almost 2 pounds. I have ate pretty good and I am so happy that I have just done my own thing this weekend without getting frustrated. I was reading Ruby Gettingers book and it just inspired me to do good. Thats such a GREAT book! Shes so amazing and has such determination I wish I could think like her lol She has sure came a long way...I know I have to but it surprises me that I am still doing as well as I am. I am just so excited to be where I want to be. I am so tired of being such a PLAIN jane. I want people to say I am beautiful and MEAN it! I want my husband to be jealous of me...I want to buy cloths in the womens instead of the PLUS size..I mean sooo much more...I know it can't be rushed but I wish I could...lol.

I am not looking forward to this weekend..I mean I DREAD it. I have a event to do this weekend and I just hate it when it throws my weekend off ugggggg anyway guess I better go logg my food :)

What a Beautiful Ride...

I am seriously SOOO behind however, Mainly because so much has happened in my life the past couple of years sooo I will try to start OVER and keep up with my blog. I have been reading SOOO many and getting all involved in other peoples blogs that I just don't have time sometimes...I finally joined a Gym...my weight loss journey is on the move again and I am doing better now then I ever thought possible!!! I work out 6 days a week, I have had my job for a long while now and its going GREAT, I have been trying to get a couple negative people out of my life and its working out and I have found the time to sit and read some GREAT Chick Lit novel that's I am excited about...Is life PERFECT..HELL no BUT I am moving in a positive direction which I am very proud of... ONE thing I can say is, life is a mountain...you spend all your time climbing and climbing TRYING to be what you want, doing things you enjoy and next thing you know your at the top...only to fall again BUT...Thats what makes it interesting... I feel the older I get the STRONGER I get..I have attached a NEW photo of me..When I started this I was back at a CRAZY number..Ok Here we goo....
Diet started (Third Time) on 6/30/2010 - Weight was 228.6 ( Yeahh I know higher then the first time I tried to lose weight!!!!) 7/7/2010 - I was amazed that I was able to STOP MOST of my bad habits ( Eating out, Soft Drinks, Sweets etc ) on 7/7 I lost 9.6 pounds! I was like YES amazing! 7/14- lost 5.6 pounds, Then on 7/21 got disappointed because I only lost 2 POUNDS :( BUT that motivated me to work harder at my goal and on 8/2/2010 I lost 6.6 pounds!!! For those of you keeping up...Thats 21.6 Pounds!!!!! Working out, I mainly do cardio and read chick lit books lol BUT its great... I am really enjoying seeing the progress which makes it worth while to spend 1 hr and a half at the gym a day! Soo I am committed for life as far as I am concerned...There are a couple more changes that need to be made BUT I will get there, I have learned alot about myself this time..I have determination and that's what it takes

Took a Long look and.....

OK Soo I am about 240 Pounds..Finally took a LONG look in the mirror and I just dont wanna be this way much longer!!! I can NOT deal with it SOOOO I have made an appointment to once again get the weight off! Can I do it?? who knows, maybe I will do it just to prove people wrong!!! ha ha Thats how I roll LOL!
Things have been hard lately so hard that I haven't taken the time to find myself..I think I have once again lost "Me" If you look back at my post in 2007 you would see I NEED this! I KNow I can do it, its a matter of do I want to look like this forever NO HELL NO I dont and if it takes medication to help me through...well thats what I plan to do! I look MISERABLE I am tired of being PLUS size... NO Cloths...No life just FAT! I am over it and I refuse to stay like this so I VOW from THIS day 6/28 to LOSE the weight again... I am not telling other people...I want to do this for MEEEE I am TIRED of the Fatness..Food is NOT that important to me yet I eat it like its going out of style! So I am on a mission, we will see how far I get ha ha

Only 1 pound

Only One Pound

Hello, do you know me? If you don't, you should. I'm a pound of fat, And I'm the HAPPIEST pound of fat that you would ever want to meet.Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm ONLY ONE POUND, just a pound!Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds, or fifteen pounds, but never only one.So I just stick around and happily keep you fat.Then I add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice it.That is, until I've grown to ten, twenty, thirty or even more pounds in weight.Yes, it's fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT, left to do as I please. So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying, "Oh, I only lost one pound."For you see, if you do this, you'll encourage others to keep me around because they'll think I'm not worth losing.And, I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. Happy Days!!!After all, I'm ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!! - Author Unknown

Guilty as charged...

Well tonight for dinner I had 1 single salad ~ I did just eat a snack which I feel extremely guilty about, (1 90 calorie Special K bar ) Its not that its a Bad snack, it just It's too late at night...anyway...I will be ok I still did not eat over 1200 calories..I know that for sure...Work was ok today, I just tried to stay busy so I don't have to worry...Ohhh I found my dogs hidden talent tonight...wow I was amamazed, he can sing, I am serious YES sing...he is the sweeteast lil guy..I like him alot, his personality just started coming out (For those who don't know I rescued him) well I guess I will try to go to bed...No systems tonight BUT my husband is in football land... LORDDD

Monday Morning..

Ok For Starters I will say this...I think I might have ate over my 1200 calories yesterday, I am not sure but I ate..Lunch Hotdog ( YES I know I know... ) anyway moving along Dinner...I ate a Chiken wrap with Lettuce, and a Fruit and walnut salad...and Last night for some un known reason I was STARVINGGG soo I went down to walgreens @ 9:00 at night and bought HEALTHY Trail mix (200 Calories) I think That might have been what threw me over the 1200 calories but I am not sure...I know that yesterday seem to drag on and drag on..I cleaned the house, done laundry and mainly read. (Both a Mag & The internet)

I did however find out that I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year for Both familys which makes me a lil nervious..I am extremely nervious about this...#1 because I can NOT stand Michaels family, they always seem to have something bad to say, I am sure they will find fault in the meal, #2 because I would like to think I can control my eating on that day BUT, it is Thanksgiving dinner (which mind you has always been my VERY favorite holiday, mainly because of the food) so I am not sure how this will turn out...I know that I have made the decision to "Take it one day at a time" and leave room for a few mistakes along the way...Holidays are a bad time for this...BUT I will do it...

As far as the meds go...Like i said...I did find myself a lil hungry last night which concerned me..BUT I did sleep better last night, without waking up...This morning I felt a lil more tired then I have in the past week...I decided that I would wait until I got to work to take my medicine..I had leg cramps all morning and not sure if they can be linked...

I did get a Post this morning on my blog which I was happy about...The main reason that makes me happy is I am finding more and more people that understand what I am going through...more then I thought..I love reading their journeys. I see that other people are in a struggle as well and that helps me know that I am not totally alone in this battle. Life is hard but when you add the extras in there sometimes it seems to get harder...My first FULL week will be tomarrow!!!!

MY First weekend On my diet..

Well I think I have done AWSOME, My mom wrote me a letter of concern about my diet and I responded, I would LIke to show EVERYONE how strong this is making me, I felt better having someone to listen to me, its my true feelings from my heart..

This is her letter:

you have to be good to yourself-don't beat yourself up if it does not go as fast as you want it to- the slower you lose it, the longer it will stay off-I am glad you are doing good on it- just be careful not to put your body in a lot of stress-you will feel better with less weight and feel better about yourself- you will feel beau-ty-full...........I loved that bar thing you gave me-I eat one of those kinds of things about 9-10 every morning- or some kind of snack-hunger strikes about that time-I love the energy bars and some of them seem to work well- kinda expensive though- I love the Ensure but, it is real high in calories but....... it is to help one maintain their weight or help gain weight-I don't need them anymore-menopause is taking care of all of that-you do not want to be over weight when you get to menopause age-----because it causes you to gain then one would really be in a mess- to much fat around the heart causes a lot of problems---KILLS
I get worried when I see one getting bigger&bigger because I know how Mom had to suffer with all of that mess-she was miserable- but she had high blood pressure so they would not let her have diet meds plus she was very diabetic- was going to have to go on the shots, but died the month before the shots were to start- so just be careful with all that whole situation-

MY Response:

I am not losing weight to be "Skinny" I am losing weight to feel better, I have gain and gained and it has gotten out of control, I am training my self that everything is not fee game ( Snacks) I should have started this long ago but, it is a Hard and depression to start...I have done great, its kind of like an drug addict, you have to take it one day at a time, and that's the way I am looking at it. I guess the Pills did give me a jump start but they work great and assist in helping me deal with the "hunger" part of it, I have NO systems from them EXCEPT I feel better, like I have more energy...and they work in controlling the Food Cravings..I am diabetic and don't need ANYTHING sweet anyway and what I like about them is they STOP COMPLETELY the craving for SWEET foods....That's what I needed...Now that I am "paying for the pills, I try harder because you don't wanna waste money. I am getting my calories in by drinking slim fast, I have to MAKE myself eat sometimes but that's good because I eat less in portion size...you know ..LIKE OK for example : I use to go to McDonalds couldn't help but get a fry if nothing else BUT now...Michael ate there the other night and I got NOTHING I came home and ate a soup..I felt SOOOO much better...Then another example we went to Shoneys Friday night, Michael OF COURSE got the bar, JUST as I ALWAYS did BUT instead..I got the Veggie bar and ate only 3 veggies in small portions and ate a Healthy small ( VERY lil NON fat Dressing ) salad..soo see..I am NOT starving myself, just eating Healthier and paying attention to details that I normally don't...I know people are against The medication to help but in my mind, which that is all it is...I NEED assistance with then med's, and it is working, Its making Me "think" before just grabbing ONE LIL BITE that normally I would think wouldn't count. I am 32 and 5'1 and weigh 180, thats NOT healthy...see what I mean..

I get NO support from Michael at all, BUT I don't care what he says..I am doing this and him not giving me support makes me want it more because it shows me he don't want me to be happy and I will do what it takes to be Happy and Healthy. If he don't want me to have it I will do it no matter what lol...sooo That's the story on that, I am keeping an online food journal, If anyone is interested in the outcome...I have friends online going through the same thing..so that helps...Yeah it would be easier if I had people to in courage me BUT I am not doing t for People I am doing it for me and to help me have a brighter future and not be so down on myself...I DO still have BAD days where I feel like I can't do it BUT, I will deal with it ONE day at a time.

I just want HEATHY habits ya know...Like when I stop taking the medication, which I will I want to eat the same as I am now so I can KEEP the weight off...

Now see your lil girl is growing up..I promise..

Love U and Hope we get out and do something this weekend...

Jenna

I Think I said everything I wanted to say...Friday I done GREAT even after I left work..We went to Shoneys and Even though I normally get the Bar, I decided against it and got a salad and Veggies, I Drank TWO HUGE glasses of water with lemon and called it a night..NOW Saturday I don't think I wold call this GOOD BUT, I Was not hungry all day, I MADE myself eat a half a soup...SOO Thats not good that i did not get my nutritons in but last night I decided that I can't do that so i went to walmart and bought Two baoxes of Slim Fast and some nutrition Bars that are only 90 calories and some yogert, that way when I am NOT hungry and I have to make myself eat, It will be something that will be nurtitious and all that...soo That was Saturday, it is now Earily Sunday morning, I ave took my medicine and I am not hungry so I have not ate...

As far as symptions, I have not really had any, I do have dry mouth alot but that makes you drink more water and I did sleep last night sooo...I guess I can say so far GOOD things

wow More people then I thought...

I found out that my landlords Mother is taking this and has lost alot of weight, she even said she has not changed her eating habits, I do not understand that being that you can not take the pill forever so what happens when you stop taking it??? see makes no sense...Ok my Food intake...Lunch yesterday I ate a salad, it was with Olive Oil and a tiny bit of salt, it was pretty small considering I normally eat way more then that. I ate a yogart for a snack, it was ok and pretty low in calories, for Dinner...I went to Captain D's I ate Chicken and shrimp, a corn on the cob and a small pieve of bread, Drank Only water, I did get hungry later on and decided that I would eat a salad...Dressing was Fat free Itilian, that was around 9pm.
As far as the way I feel...I know one thing I doo not like breaking them up..I feel much better today and for some reason it helps me more to take it whole...NOt sure why that is...No exercise at all and I know thats not going to help me any. I plan on walking through a community sale this weekend and that will get some in..I noticed I have so much more energy now that I am not stuffing myself full...I still have stress on me which does not help either...I am not sure what is going on at work and I have bills due...its just hard when you get no supposrt from your husband...he ate a soup last night and was trying to convience me that it was healthy, of course I knew better and I felt better about myself by NOT falling into the trap...I noticed I could not go to sleep again but got up easily. I have not ate anything yet and it is 11:22am I don't plan on eating until later on, I have no idea what i will eat but I find that I normally don't like meat..its weird, well I better get back to work...