Christmas shopping was...a challege! I spent my whole weekend not even thinking about food but thinking of shopping and trying to get things in order for Christmas dinner..I am excited for people to get there gifts. I Know what some things that my mom got me are...A weight scale! YES what I wanted...& a steamer lol YESSSSSSSSS just some of the things I was wishin for he he, I just happen to show up before she got them wrapped! ha ha While shopping ran into an ex...ekkkk was not that happy to see them...left on bad terms and Honestly glad its been OVER ha ha I am glad that I had lost some weight before I seen them! ha ha ANYWAY..Today is my anniversary, not that I will get anything BUT it is...We were married in Georgia in a small town called Blueridge, GA Was I happy?? Now that I look back..not really! Sad to say but I think I mostly married because I felt like nobody else would have me..I didn't wanna die alone but..Lil did I know the complete hell I would go through, the late nights crying, the fighting and fussing. The Physical & Mental abuse..and the Emotional roller coaster I would be on! I can not remember a time in our marriage that I can say I "enjoyed" I mean don't get me wrong I have had good and bad days, some days he and I have gotten along, I know I loved him so much in the beginning but, after so many restless nights the love died. I have some scars emotionallt from him that I don't forgive and thats hard. I know that there is life out there and my brused heart will heal in time...I should have held on to my pride, but I guess he got what he wanted..I have few friends and I have shut out many over him. I am not sure, but I think Time can heal a heart..One day I will be able to hold my head up and feel strong.
Managed my eating pretty well considering the stress I have been under I hope that Christmas don't blow it..
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Hi, I've been reading your blog for a while off and on and today's blog really pulled at some heartstrings for me. I am currently going through a divorce from a man who was majorly mentally abusive to me in our 17 years of marriage....why the heck I stayed that long is beyond me but that's not the point. Anyhow, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I totally related to your post today, it's a emotional time of year and to see an ex, whether it's a bf or husband is a hard thing to do this time of year. It sounds like you made it out fine, breath and it does get easier. I spent the better part of the marriage and subsequent separation in therapy, I would call my poor therapist on weekends crying and whatever when triggers would happen, it was horrible. I can say I'm out of that now, I've taken back the control of my life and have met a wonderful man, yes they are out there, he knows the story and still he's the greatest person on earth, nothing like what I had.....chin up and Merry Christmas to you...
Michelle
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