Another BAD night..

Ok well after the lunch ordeal I was kinda sick soo I didn't eat hardly anything yesterday and I see we don't do that, after I got home, Michael Mom called and ask if we would help her move...WOW long drive well we done it because she needed the help..After that I was starving to death where I had not ate most of the day, I ended up AGAIN messing up and going to get a Krystal!!!! Well to confess TWO of them! IT was NASTY BUT, I was starving!!! I needed something! So, I got to bed and wake up this morning and of course it was a bad morning! I woke up hungry, I ATE A RICE CAKE!!! lol I was like, NOPE I will not give in again...I took my Benefiber & My meds and off to work I went...I will not let this FAT drag me any lower then I have been in the past, I just can't and won't!!! I am tired of being huge, and crying when I look in the mirror, and Trying to AVOID the summer months! Thats a HUGE thing SUMMER, I hated to see it coming, as least in the winter I could sort of cover all this up, but it was getting to the point where I couldn't, I know I lost last month but I have had a few mess up's this month that might make a HUGE difference in how much I lose...Its kind of depressing and after a while eating the same ole same ole gets old...Its Sad when I can't wait on Christmas just to have an excuse to eat something good..
Work has gotten a lil busy thats why I feel I have negeted my writing and maybe thats why I am not eating properly...I have GOT to do this for myself...I want to feel good about myself and not feel so ashamed of how I look.. I want to feel good and KNOW I am healthy, I think I deserve it...
I have been online just not near as much, mainly because I feel like I am consently doing something and its driving me insane! Like today I work all day, get off, go to class and then to help my mother in law move again...I won't get home until really late and I will be dead tired. I have to get better at logging food...I might get a food journal...