I have always known something was not right, I have not ever truly been happy..or at peace with myself, I have always wanted something more but it was always out of my reach..I mean I keep reaching, I sometimes would do everything it takes...But I would always fail in someway. I have had so many people come and go in my life, some I have cared so much more and NEVER thought I would lose them...But I some how pushed them away...and now I have hardly no body. I went to the Dr recently for depression & problems with sleep and before I could finish what I was saying, he tagged my disorder...Bi- Polar, I was in shocked that day to hear it being said, and ya know some say, Its not you...BUT I have been studing it and that is it! I fit the profile to a tee..I cried as I left..I hurt knowing that I could possible be a bit on the crazy side but..although I am pretty normal, I have my moments where I lose "me" and find myself on my knees begging God to take me.
This Jourrnal started as a weight loss journal..I put my all in it BUT after a while I gave up because I felt it was so far out of my reach...I did it for a while but...now its harder... Either way..alot has change..to make a long story short...
I got sick for almost a month straight, I ran into someone from my past that really screwed me up emotionally and I lost my Job. I mean theres more but thats enough for now...
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1 comment:
Hang in there. We're all thinking of you and sending our best wishes your way. :)
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