My Weekend

My weekend went GREAT and believe it or not I am amazed and so proud of myself. I spent Saturday at the Book store, Grocery shopping & just running errands. Then today I went to the library and then to work out..I done my weights..then walked on the tread mill for a FULL hour. I felt GREAT so I check my weight and to my surprise I had lost almost 2 pounds. I have ate pretty good and I am so happy that I have just done my own thing this weekend without getting frustrated. I was reading Ruby Gettingers book and it just inspired me to do good. Thats such a GREAT book! Shes so amazing and has such determination I wish I could think like her lol She has sure came a long way...I know I have to but it surprises me that I am still doing as well as I am. I am just so excited to be where I want to be. I am so tired of being such a PLAIN jane. I want people to say I am beautiful and MEAN it! I want my husband to be jealous of me...I want to buy cloths in the womens instead of the PLUS size..I mean sooo much more...I know it can't be rushed but I wish I could...lol.

I am not looking forward to this weekend..I mean I DREAD it. I have a event to do this weekend and I just hate it when it throws my weekend off ugggggg anyway guess I better go logg my food :)

Beautiful Ride..

I did go work out yesterday although it was so VERY tough..I ate so much and for some reason I have decided that its OK BUt its not so hopefully I am back on Track today. It seems it gets tougher after a while but I will make it, if it kills me! I went for my weigh in and had only lost a couple pounds..I am STILL over 200 and I am getting SOOOO frustrated, I just feel I should be way above that now but for some reason I am moving slowly...I try to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end but..I know its tough...
I think with so much going on in my life right now I am having a hard time just relaxing, I mean I go to the gym almost EVERY day and the stress just seems to linger and MAYBE that's Part of the problem. I hate when things are like this but I know that things will improve with time and dedication. I have not spoken to my mom in over two weeks and believe me, its been hard but I know I done the right thing by letting it go..as much as I love her, I know that she and I will never be "Normal" she will never understand who I am as a "woman" and will NEVER accept me...she seems to be one of those people that feel that you have to be what they want and I am to strong minded for that. I just can't allow myself anymore hurt over it but, is it hard..YES I try to pretend I don't care but she is my mom and in reality...Its harder then I thought to cut ties with the relationship but in my heart I know its best for both of us....I think that it will get easier in time...Hopefully....
My husband and I have been the same...on and ofF and off & on. I feel so FAT around him and sometimes I feel like he wants me to carry the weight, I think in his mind it makes him feel like No one would want me if I stayed fat! UGGG what an ASS!
I am reading a GREAT book, of course one of my wonderful Chic Lit Books! Its GREAT, called "Fat Chance" Whats a GREAT Book... lol I mean I LOVE these Fat girl books, mes me feel like I am not alone on this journey...even if it is FICTION ha ha...Ok gotta get back to work...

Good Morning

So Yesterday was interesting, after a GREAT day without my boss...I went to the gym, I thought it was for an orientation however, it turned out to be VERY encouraging and I meet with a couple of trainers....they gave me a routine that I think I will enjoy. I also learned more information on how to properly use some of the machines. It was GREAT BUT I felt CRAZY because after all this working out I wasn't properly using the machine lol...Whatever Guess I know now..Didn't get home until late. Woke up this morning to Breakfast in bed from my husband which was VERY nice (2 egg whites on toasted bread) Started a new book but can't seem to get into it like I did my last one...Jemma J will be hard to beat...It was such a GREAT book...Guess I better get up and get dressed for work...

What a Beautiful Ride...

I am seriously SOOO behind however, Mainly because so much has happened in my life the past couple of years sooo I will try to start OVER and keep up with my blog. I have been reading SOOO many and getting all involved in other peoples blogs that I just don't have time sometimes...I finally joined a Gym...my weight loss journey is on the move again and I am doing better now then I ever thought possible!!! I work out 6 days a week, I have had my job for a long while now and its going GREAT, I have been trying to get a couple negative people out of my life and its working out and I have found the time to sit and read some GREAT Chick Lit novel that's I am excited about...Is life PERFECT..HELL no BUT I am moving in a positive direction which I am very proud of... ONE thing I can say is, life is a mountain...you spend all your time climbing and climbing TRYING to be what you want, doing things you enjoy and next thing you know your at the top...only to fall again BUT...Thats what makes it interesting... I feel the older I get the STRONGER I get..I have attached a NEW photo of me..When I started this I was back at a CRAZY number..Ok Here we goo....
Diet started (Third Time) on 6/30/2010 - Weight was 228.6 ( Yeahh I know higher then the first time I tried to lose weight!!!!) 7/7/2010 - I was amazed that I was able to STOP MOST of my bad habits ( Eating out, Soft Drinks, Sweets etc ) on 7/7 I lost 9.6 pounds! I was like YES amazing! 7/14- lost 5.6 pounds, Then on 7/21 got disappointed because I only lost 2 POUNDS :( BUT that motivated me to work harder at my goal and on 8/2/2010 I lost 6.6 pounds!!! For those of you keeping up...Thats 21.6 Pounds!!!!! Working out, I mainly do cardio and read chick lit books lol BUT its great... I am really enjoying seeing the progress which makes it worth while to spend 1 hr and a half at the gym a day! Soo I am committed for life as far as I am concerned...There are a couple more changes that need to be made BUT I will get there, I have learned alot about myself this time..I have determination and that's what it takes