Beautiful Ride..

I did go work out yesterday although it was so VERY tough..I ate so much and for some reason I have decided that its OK BUt its not so hopefully I am back on Track today. It seems it gets tougher after a while but I will make it, if it kills me! I went for my weigh in and had only lost a couple pounds..I am STILL over 200 and I am getting SOOOO frustrated, I just feel I should be way above that now but for some reason I am moving slowly...I try to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end but..I know its tough...
I think with so much going on in my life right now I am having a hard time just relaxing, I mean I go to the gym almost EVERY day and the stress just seems to linger and MAYBE that's Part of the problem. I hate when things are like this but I know that things will improve with time and dedication. I have not spoken to my mom in over two weeks and believe me, its been hard but I know I done the right thing by letting it go..as much as I love her, I know that she and I will never be "Normal" she will never understand who I am as a "woman" and will NEVER accept me...she seems to be one of those people that feel that you have to be what they want and I am to strong minded for that. I just can't allow myself anymore hurt over it but, is it hard..YES I try to pretend I don't care but she is my mom and in reality...Its harder then I thought to cut ties with the relationship but in my heart I know its best for both of us....I think that it will get easier in time...Hopefully....
My husband and I have been the same...on and ofF and off & on. I feel so FAT around him and sometimes I feel like he wants me to carry the weight, I think in his mind it makes him feel like No one would want me if I stayed fat! UGGG what an ASS!
I am reading a GREAT book, of course one of my wonderful Chic Lit Books! Its GREAT, called "Fat Chance" Whats a GREAT Book... lol I mean I LOVE these Fat girl books, mes me feel like I am not alone on this journey...even if it is FICTION ha ha...Ok gotta get back to work...