Well Thats where I slept last night, I wrote a 4 page letter and poured out my heart and he acted like I didn't even write a letter, he got up - left again and of course I have not seen him. I know that I have made the decision to ignore the fact that he is treating me this way and move on, Thats all I know to do. I slept on the couch and cried myself to sleep. He slept in the bed comfortable knowing that I was hurt and done nothing except get up and leave when the morning come. I just dont know what to do anymore. Yesterday was NOT a good day for me and my diet reflected that! when he got here I left, and got me something to eat - yeah when I say something to eat I mean a steamed ham & cheese with a mt dew to drink and then came back and ate Ice cream. I was just so very depressed and miserable that I couldnt stop myself. It was like I said screw it.
Today has been a different story, I left and got a few things done. I was content until I walked in the house. I just feel such an emptness beyong belief. When I am home I start getting depressed and start thinking about what a screwed up situation I have ended up in. I just feel I deserve more then that..I guess he dont feel that way. I guess he feels I deserve to be treated as if I am a No body..This is so frustrating..I feel like I have no one that cares whats going on..The truth is I have not been happy in a very long time, I hang on because I feel so alone and forgotten, I wanna walk away more then anything, I am just scared..maybe of being alone..I am not sure I just know I am having a hard time dealing with it.
Food, I think is... comfort..I use it as a tool I know thats the wrong thing but thats the truth..
Today is cold
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1 comment:
Hi,
I came across your blog by accident, but found it an incredibly fascinating read. You have an amazing ability to put your emotions in to words, and you express feelings that I've felt so many times.
Best of luck with your weight loss. I hope you get the support that you need. I've just started a weightloss blog too, because I'm trying to lose 3 stones in 12 weeks, and have found the support from the internet community to be just wonderful.
Best of luck with everything, don't ever let anybody make you think you're worthless because I don't even know you and I can see that you're an incredible intelligent and caring person.
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