my lil babies are the greatest

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gonna try this on my phone...

I am gonna try to blog from my phone....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

New Year, Bad beginnings

WHY WHY WHY do I always feel so Lonely? I mean is that seriously normal? Is there anyone out there who reallyyy UNDERSTANDS who I am and What I want? I guess thats were I plan to start, first New Years was just that, A new friggin year NOTHING special at all...When in the world did I become so boring taht all I do is sit and watch Geys anatomy and pittle around on the computer...WOW kind of sucks. I am thinking I should start my new diet this week, I have been putting it off but I think its time. Plan to start that Stat!

I picked up a rescue, wow he is a handful. He was ALMOST ready to be put to sleep. I hope that I done the right thing, I think sometimes I allow my heart to speak before I think about it. He seems to be in good shape but NOW I have 5 dogs and 2 cats and NONE which I am willing to part with, OHH Gawd thats just NUTS! Now Look at that lil face could you turn it down??? we call him papaw because he is older but such a blessing. I felt he deserved a chance...I may not be much But I am his new mommy.....

I am gonna try not to have a miserable lonly eveing but who knows..considering my husband has been in bed since 11:00am and its now 4pm and thats just kills me, How can one man be so lazy??? uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Ok have a great day

a NEW year and a NEW Beginning!

Christmas was well...JUST Christmas....Buying for people you normally don't, spending time with family & STRESS...Food. Well I could go through all the neagtives and positive but I am POSITIVE you don't wanna hear my take on it. It is time for me to ONCE again start my diet and I plan to stick with it this time. I KNOW I say that everytime but this time...I am! Tax seasons almost here and I plan to bury myself in my work and STAY busy so I am going going going until HOPEFULLY my weight will GO AWAY!

I have tried very hard NOT to get depressed during the hoidays, I spent some time with my mom and that was REALLY fun, we mostly took pictures but..We had fun doing it. I can see that the things I do....She does too which is so weird to me..

I am hoping that I can keep my blog going this time, I will not make any promises BUT I will say that I will do my VERY Best!

Divorce

Divorce is the death of a dream, a dream which reflects who we believed we were
and who we believed we would be in the future.

My Weekend

My weekend went GREAT and believe it or not I am amazed and so proud of myself. I spent Saturday at the Book store, Grocery shopping & just running errands. Then today I went to the library and then to work out..I done my weights..then walked on the tread mill for a FULL hour. I felt GREAT so I check my weight and to my surprise I had lost almost 2 pounds. I have ate pretty good and I am so happy that I have just done my own thing this weekend without getting frustrated. I was reading Ruby Gettingers book and it just inspired me to do good. Thats such a GREAT book! Shes so amazing and has such determination I wish I could think like her lol She has sure came a long way...I know I have to but it surprises me that I am still doing as well as I am. I am just so excited to be where I want to be. I am so tired of being such a PLAIN jane. I want people to say I am beautiful and MEAN it! I want my husband to be jealous of me...I want to buy cloths in the womens instead of the PLUS size..I mean sooo much more...I know it can't be rushed but I wish I could...lol.

I am not looking forward to this weekend..I mean I DREAD it. I have a event to do this weekend and I just hate it when it throws my weekend off ugggggg anyway guess I better go logg my food :)

Beautiful Ride..

I did go work out yesterday although it was so VERY tough..I ate so much and for some reason I have decided that its OK BUt its not so hopefully I am back on Track today. It seems it gets tougher after a while but I will make it, if it kills me! I went for my weigh in and had only lost a couple pounds..I am STILL over 200 and I am getting SOOOO frustrated, I just feel I should be way above that now but for some reason I am moving slowly...I try to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end but..I know its tough...
I think with so much going on in my life right now I am having a hard time just relaxing, I mean I go to the gym almost EVERY day and the stress just seems to linger and MAYBE that's Part of the problem. I hate when things are like this but I know that things will improve with time and dedication. I have not spoken to my mom in over two weeks and believe me, its been hard but I know I done the right thing by letting it go..as much as I love her, I know that she and I will never be "Normal" she will never understand who I am as a "woman" and will NEVER accept me...she seems to be one of those people that feel that you have to be what they want and I am to strong minded for that. I just can't allow myself anymore hurt over it but, is it hard..YES I try to pretend I don't care but she is my mom and in reality...Its harder then I thought to cut ties with the relationship but in my heart I know its best for both of us....I think that it will get easier in time...Hopefully....
My husband and I have been the same...on and ofF and off & on. I feel so FAT around him and sometimes I feel like he wants me to carry the weight, I think in his mind it makes him feel like No one would want me if I stayed fat! UGGG what an ASS!
I am reading a GREAT book, of course one of my wonderful Chic Lit Books! Its GREAT, called "Fat Chance" Whats a GREAT Book... lol I mean I LOVE these Fat girl books, mes me feel like I am not alone on this journey...even if it is FICTION ha ha...Ok gotta get back to work...