Healthy Weight Loss and Dieting: How to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

Healthy Weight Loss and Dieting: How to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

Karma...

Soo seems HE is on a mission again to make me fail, to make me miserable...it just won't happen...I will do everything in my power to show him, I CAN do what I set out to do..as much as I love him...I love myself even more. I mentioned it to him and he acted like an ass but whatever, I done it one my own without his support last time...as a matter of fact I have done everything in this marriage myself without his support soooo I think I can manage. He has had such a attitude lately and an attitude like I OWE him something, even said something to me that stood out...he said something along the lines that he wanted a woman with good credit, I was like well you found the wrong one with me and he said ohh no I didnt you pay the bills don't you! What tha heck. I was in shock and he played it off like he was joking but he wasn't I am not that dumb BUT KARMA is NO fun and I am just waiting until one day when it hits him that I am OVER it...he doesnt have anyone now to baby him. His mom passed and his grandmother did too...I think he thinks I am his "safe" place BUT...I am TIRED of being his support system...at some point in my life I plan to have a life..I have wanted a family...NOT a ONE SIDED DRAMA filled bunch of bull shit!

As you can see...I am a bit pissy tonight....better get to bed for work...something he dont do!

Took a Long look and.....

OK Soo I am about 240 Pounds..Finally took a LONG look in the mirror and I just dont wanna be this way much longer!!! I can NOT deal with it SOOOO I have made an appointment to once again get the weight off! Can I do it?? who knows, maybe I will do it just to prove people wrong!!! ha ha Thats how I roll LOL!
Things have been hard lately so hard that I haven't taken the time to find myself..I think I have once again lost "Me" If you look back at my post in 2007 you would see I NEED this! I KNow I can do it, its a matter of do I want to look like this forever NO HELL NO I dont and if it takes medication to help me through...well thats what I plan to do! I look MISERABLE I am tired of being PLUS size... NO Cloths...No life just FAT! I am over it and I refuse to stay like this so I VOW from THIS day 6/28 to LOSE the weight again... I am not telling other people...I want to do this for MEEEE I am TIRED of the Fatness..Food is NOT that important to me yet I eat it like its going out of style! So I am on a mission, we will see how far I get ha ha

Life & Murder?

If you could see inside my heart...You would see right now its broken...Its been a while since I wrote and for a good reason... wel lets say several good reasons but I will touch on the main ones...My Mother in law, whom ment so very much to me passed away, 6 weeks later on May 7th My husbands Grandmother was Murdered in her home. I have went through a series of emotions...so its been tough to put in words. I went from being scared out of my mind to crying my eyes out. While in court I stared them down and when I left..I just cried that they should no emotion, how could you hit her, shot her and cut her throat and show NO emotion at all!! HOW? I am ANGRY, I am HURT and I am still in shock that something like this could happen...Not only has this taken place but everything else has came about Its a long story and I just cant talk anout it now...

It will be a Miracle!

Well again I find my self in a screwed up position, I wish that I could get ahold of myself and deal with things before they get worse. I am in a Job that may not last, with a husband that don't love me and my mental illness is out of control NOT to mention I have gained more weight then I ever have..I am sooo worried that I won't make it. Just tired of trying to make everyone else happy. I am am NOT happy with my life right now...I am starting to feel the loneless that I am so custom to. I want a good healthy marriage, I want a FAMILY meaning a child to call my own, I want to lose weight, I dont want to NEED medicine BUT it seems things are not working out that way! I just dont know HOW to change things...truthfully I want to change but HOW? people give me there opnions and I WISH I was strong enough to do all the things they say I should But I can't I am truthfully not strong enough.

Mothers day is coming up and I am taking my mom out to eat, I am hoping that give me a lil time away with someone different but shes always tried to give me her opinion to so I won't even bring michael up so I don't have to hear it. I pray that time will heal mt life but I just don't see it...I went through 10 years of HELL and then I meet someone went through years of hell now just someone else to do the same thing....I am sooo Stress out I hope I can get some peace in my heart at some point, all I want is to find that "peace" that I am looking for with someone who love me for the person I am and who respects me for the things I have been through, that's interested in the same things I am and whose looking for the same things out of life that I am. Someone willing to share responsibilities and who wants something out of life. That will be a miracle I am sure but thats what I am looking for....

No body said it would be easy but its been a rough road will millions of bumps and I want a smooth road at some point one I can remember.

Weird day

well what an amazing movie I watched tonight, it was nice but I could see that it upset michael to get a glimpse of what heaven may be like, It was great! The Lovely bones...just great! Today, It was a weird day I am having a hard time getting use to not working two jobs, just seems like I have so much free time on my hands..guess that could be good BUT you know its wild... My dogs are getting fixed tomarrow and I have to be up earily yet here I sit, I still feel kind of sick and miserable...I am trying to well never mind will write more tomarrow

My big fat ass!

amazing that I can read back through my post and say, did I write this? Is this how I felt at that point in my life? if soooo WOW is all I can say! so much has changed and I am assuming my feelings about certain situations have changed as well..first thing thats happened...My Mother in Law passes away and boy, that was a world wind of craziness!!!! My husband took it really hard and is still going through the depressing states of it all.
I am STILL working trying to maintain normal life although its tougher then I thought! I have been struggling with my emotions and how I feel about certain things. #1 My husband #2 My big fat ass!!! I mean I am HUGE, fatter then I was when I first started this journal, I have no idea where all the strengh came from then but I LOST it somewhere down the road! NOW, I feel TIRED and HUGE! I went to walk my dog and by the time I got around the park...I was almost dead! I have gotta getta grip before I lose complete control!
WORKS just work, tax season is finally over and I am just working the one job, after work in the afternoons I am like, what??? I am home WTF! ok so I better get back to work, maybe I will start writing again, I use to love it now, its like I dont wanna do anything...SAd!